Todays post is a guest post by Anne, Ottos wife! Read and enjoy!

Hey all, this is Ann! I haven’t posted anything yet to the blog, but after reading through Otto’s entry about children of the mind, I felt like I had to respond.

Before I became a part of the cule, I never thought I’d be a mother or, at the very least, be around kids regularly. Looking back on my childhood, I wasn’t one of those girls who pretended she was a mommy all the time with her dolls. My mom says that sometimes I did sometimes take care of my little brother, like feeding him a bottle or watching him play, but that I spent most of my time playing with toys and making up stories instead. The natural inclination to grow up and be a mother just never really came to me. 

In spite of all this, for seven years, Otto and I tried to have kids. We hadn’t been married but for about two years and we decided, with all our other friends having kids, you know what, we’re young, let’s try this whole kid thing. I thought it would be super easy. According to my mom, I came about on the first try. I’d be pregnant in no time. Seven years later, that didn’t happen.

Before I joined the cule, I had given up on ever being around children on a regular basis. It was just Otto and me and our cats. I considered my cats my children and still do. If Otto and I didn’t have our own kids, then we’d probably not be around children at all. It was also painful for a time for me to be around anyone with kids. I found myself wanting and desiring and it wasn’t a good feeling. 

Now that I’m in a polycule with kids, I’m adjusting my thinking in many ways. I’m suddenly around children more often and I’m feeling my barriers and fears disappearing. I still have to be concerned about bedtime and such when I’m watching the kids, but beyond that, I’m realizing the joy of watching someone else growing up and finding themselves. Not to mention they’ve made my life a lot more interesting. 

Boychild reminds me of much of myself when I was his age. He’s a bit ADD (as I was at that age and still am), very perceptive and has a fun sense of humor. He loves to play around in the pool and be silly, which I love. If he splashes me, you can bet I splash him right back, giggling just as much as he is. 

I even had a glimpse of being a mommy a few weeks ago when, while I was watching him one evening, Boychild decided to decorate one of his arms in stickers so he could have a “gauntlet” of stickers. Then he decided to cover those stickers in tape so he could take a shower. I thought the tape would hold all those stickers in place and keep them from getting wet.

Nope.

I spent about twenty minutes picking off damp stickers from his arm, then running water and soap over his arm to remove as much of the stickiness as I could. I was having to think on the fly and running water over his arm and rubbing the stickiness away was the only solution I could think of. It was an utter mess and we were laughing the whole time. And I realized as I was rinsing his arm under the water that, oh my god, this is what it’s like being a mommy. Getting your kid out of sticky, no pun intended, and messy situations everyday. 

I’m also realizing that I don’t have to be serious all the time. I’m letting go of my fears of “oh god what are they doing now” if we’re in different rooms in the house or doing other activities. We all went peach and apple picking a few weeks ago, for example, and that was so much fun! Girlchild and I split off to pick peaches and we would joke to each other about the state of some of the peaches. It’s the end of the season, so a lot of the peaches aren’t as good anymore. After finding some ripe ones, she’d show me an especially rotted peach and say, “Look, this is perfect, right?” I’d do the same and we’d end up in giggles. I began to feel less like an overprotective parent and I found myself actually relaxing.

A year ago at this time, if you had told me I’d be hanging out with kids regularly, I would’ve laughed. I was done with being around children. I thought that if I couldn’t have children of my own, why bother? However, in just the eight months I’ve been a part of the cule, I’ve learned a lot and I’m realizing that hey, it’s actually fun to be around kids! Especially because Nikki’s kids are all such cool individuals. They’re flourishing in wonderful ways and they’re also growing up around diverse people because of our lifestyle. They know about my sexuality, for example, and that I have girlfriends. At their age, I’d never met anyone who wasn’t straight. Nikki’s children are growing up in a really cool time and I’m glad I get to be a part of that with them. Most of all, I look forward to watching them grow up and become who they are. They may not have the genetics of Otto and me, but I’m becoming attached nonetheless. They’re cool people who are only going to get more interesting as time goes on.