…and when I say fencing, I mean putting up the kind of thing that goes around gardens or on property lines. Not the Olympic sport.

For a few years we have been talking about putting up a fence around our backyard. Mostly the reasoning is to keep the dogs from playing “OH LOOK A SQUIRREL” and taking us on a sudden chase around the neighborhood. After getting the chickens though, we determined it was even more of a priority.

Many estimates were gathered. Numbers were run. Putting up a fence was expensive! But then our neighbors to one side of us let us know that they were about to replace their wooden fence with a brand shiny new vinyl one! So we asked if we could have the old panels. We didn’t want them for where it was majorly visible in the front, we wanted them for along the back. They agreed, and so saved us quite a bit of money.

We were able to borrow an auger from one of Ottos associates, which also saved us a lot of back strain.

So one fine Saturday off we went with the Girlchild to the local home improvement store to get the supplies. Close to 40 posts and 1000 pounds of concrete! I was ordered to not help, due to my still healing status. Which of course made me insane. …I may have helped a little.

Once we were home everyone pitched in, and soon posts were in holes, and concrete was poured and tamped around them. Then it was time to wait and let it solidify.

A few days later we put up the “new to us” panels. I was looking at it, and wincing. It looked uneven and strange, it seemed to meander all over the place. But then as we started putting up the slats to connect the panels it all started coming together. How fascinating! If you filled in the holes, then it became a single fence!

We haven’t finished yet, but its well on its way.

So. Relationships are like putting up backyard fences.

No, really! Stick with me here:

You get something from someone else. Doesn’t matter if they have never been married or dated anyone in their lives. They had some sort of parental figure at some point, so they came from SOMETHING. Its not shiny. Its not always perfect. But something about it you appreciate and value.

You prepare for it. Well… as best you can. If you have been through other relationships you know your own pitfalls, and often think ahead of time how to avoid them or mitigate them. You also know you are wanting this one to succeed! So you use the tools you have or have been given, to improve and set up stable posts to lean on.

Time passes as things solidify. New Relationship Energy (NRE) fades as this happens, things become more stable and mundane.

You put up the panels and notice it looks a little odd. After NRE is faded, THAT is when you notice the flaws in your relationship for sure. Its kinda oddly shaped, sometimes there are sharp edges. Maybe you even second guess your decisions at times.

You put the connecting panels in. Addressing issues that need addressed. Communicating about how to work together to make things comfortable for everyone involved. And if everyone works together, you end up with a functioning fen—err… relationship!

…yes, I know. Its a little bit of a stretch. But I was sitting and looking at the fence in all its strange glory this morning, and thinking about how we have all worked together on it, and this popped into my head.

So- if you are in any stage of your relationships, remember you can keep working on it if you wish. Sometimes it will look odd. It may not even look new or pretty. But its still yours, and it still works in the way that you intend it to work.